family, Sunday....and tired

1. got a lot on my mind
2. trying the extreme couponing...saved 38%
3. I was very excited!
4. I am using coupon mom
5. they do a lot of the work for you.
6. a friend also recommended taking a business course...and I need it!
7. I called on the phone to reserve a spot for the classes...but will go tomorrow to pay for the spot....and see if there are spots open.
8. I think this is the direction I need to be going.
9. got to spend some quality time in my scrapbook room.
10. putting together a class for How to scrap your life
11. Watch for it....its going to be great!
12. Hubby and I watched Time Traveler's Wife on HBO
13. The book is WAY better
14. Hubby turns to look at me while watching the movie and asks....where would you go if you could?
15. I smile
16. I don't give an answer and ask for his.
17. He rattles off several places he would go time travel to
18. honestly....I can't think of one.
19. finally...the day Sophie is born
20. Hubby looks at me....questioning my face?????
21. I am feeling really awkward
22. He is all sentimental..............and I am lost
23. I listen to his places he would travel.
24. I think wow...........I don't have any place or anyone I would see.
25. I cry.
26. I ask him......Am I weird?
27. Honey....Do, I appear weird to others?
28. Somtimes...........but he says he can tell when I cover it up but I am good at covering.
29. With him I don't have to.
30. He says I was raised in a battle zone, my mission?????  To survive
31. I don't like having stories that I think I tell as funny....and but to others......they are very sad.
32. I feel like a foreigner from a different planet.
33. I understand the language........it's the point of reference I am lost with.
34. I always have to look at what I know....as wrong, not normal.
35. I go to my training as a therapist to see what is the RIGHT why to do it.
36. Then try very hard to make it look simple and normal.
37. I think I feel lost in my life at least 50% of the day.
38. My life really went bad when I was 12 and stayed....BAD!
39. This is why the past almost 2 years have been so hard watching Sophie grow up.
40. Its scary....memories are everywhere.  They are good, sad....but, really bad.
41. Have you ever picked your Mom up drunk from a bar?
42. I have.
43. More than I wish I had.
44. She would get hot in the car, then take her clothes off, while you are driving....or in the front of the house.  
45. She always walks in the house....naked.
46. Do you know what a belligerent,naked drunk does after she eats fried eggs, bacon, and toast????
47. She proceeds to puke all over everything.......
48. and passes out.
49. And if you leave it for her.....well, you learn early....you DON'T.
50. I would give anything for a day of my past to be normal....really.
51. Not scary.