Hum....not going to miss 2011.
Nope, not going to miss it at all.
No, it wasn't a terrible year but NOT one of the greats either.
I won't miss it.
Onward to a new year.
New experiences.
New opportunities.
A new 365 ok, 366 days to try new things, grow and learn, and watch my children discover who they are daily.
I turn 49 years old this year!
WTF????
In 1 month and 4 days.
Again....WTF?
What's really funny or very sad....is that for the last couple of months...I had in my mind that I was 47 and turning 48. I have heard people do this when I was young and thought....how in the world can you do that? And...here I am. And what is really shitty......when it hits you that you instantly aged 1 year....you feel that damned year!
OK...I swore I was never, ever going to be age-o-phobic like my Mom. The horrors of her turning 30 are still etched in my brain. And here I look at it.
49 Really???
I tell people all of the time I am 50...that does NOT bother me at all. Being 50 is a marker. A badge of honor. A level of experiences and knowledge that can be shared with the young and to be proud of.
49 feels....icky! LOL
OK.
I got off track.
Good bye 2011.
I would love to see you hte minute you end but, I am in my jammies and I am tired. It's only 9:09pm. LOL
Happy New Year to all of you that read me.
And all of those that read me, know me and still love me :)
Or at least like me enough to keep coming back :)
May your 2012 be a very blessed one!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
loud non-stopping brain
I have a brain that does NOT like to stop and let me sleep.
It thinks....way....too....much!
I sit here and analyze everything. I have done this my entire life. And now.....I have passed it on to my daughter.
I tell her I am sorry. I am.
But, the brain does what it wants. And it only gets quiet when it is done.
I am done many things in my life to quiet my brain.
I used to watch mind numbing TV to get bored...then fall asleep.
For the first time in my life....I had a doctor give me anti-anxiety medication to try. And by golly! I slept!
It has since stopped working.
Now I take Ambien. And Soma. And here I sit...awake! Stoned. But the brain is going a million miles an hour.
I need a quiet brain.
It thinks....way....too....much!
I sit here and analyze everything. I have done this my entire life. And now.....I have passed it on to my daughter.
I tell her I am sorry. I am.
But, the brain does what it wants. And it only gets quiet when it is done.
I am done many things in my life to quiet my brain.
I used to watch mind numbing TV to get bored...then fall asleep.
For the first time in my life....I had a doctor give me anti-anxiety medication to try. And by golly! I slept!
It has since stopped working.
Now I take Ambien. And Soma. And here I sit...awake! Stoned. But the brain is going a million miles an hour.
I need a quiet brain.
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