end of the school year...if only

So, my baby boy will finally graduate from kindergarten.  He has had such a wonderful year.  He is so very ready for 1st grade....academically.  Mentally...he really wants to stay with Mrs. Carlon and Satchi.....or, if he could have his wish, homeschooling with Mommy.  Keeping him back was the best thing I could have done. 

But, Nash is ready....and I am ready for this next adventure for him.

And...my baby girl.  She keeps announcing that she is almost a Sophomore???  Really?  Where the Hell is the time going???

I am barely ready for her to be in high school...and her 1st year is almost over.

This was a hard year for her.  Big transition from a K-8 school to high school.  Then finding out that there are other things going on for her too.  I am so glad we caught it early.  Depression is not easy to live with.  And being a second generation person with clinical depression made it easier on her....but guilt ridden for me.

But, the days are flying by.....Sophie only has about 2 more weeks of Freshman-land and Nash is done with Kindergarten on June 6th.

I wish.....to make Sophie go back to 1st grade with Nash.  They could be playmates....they are polar opposites so maybe could inspire the other.

Oh, if only.....

todays Mother's Day

I said...very frankly to my Hubby and children....I don't want presents for Mother's Day.

I just want a day.  A day to sleep in.  A day to not do anything!  A day to walk around in my jammies without questions to my health.  A day where I don't have to cook a meal....or even make a meal for that matter!

Because I have a wonderful family...I got exactly that!

Now...2 nights ago...Hubby was running scared.  He was over thinking what I asked for.  Thinking I was just saying this...and really wanting something more.

Even my daughter came to me and said...does Dad NOT know you???  According to her...I stated very bluntly and plainly what I wanted.  I have never, ever had a problem saying exactly what is on my mind.  But, Hubby....like most men...thought I was being a woman.  Saying one thing...and meaning another.  And if he didn't figure it out...he would be dead.

I assured him...that Sophie was right.  I was not asking a secret, read my mind not my words thing.  I really didn't want anything....but a day of peace!

They let me sleep in with only a slight bed exploration by Nash, my 6 year old.

And then by 8:30am, they had gone to a McDonald's breakfast and stopped and picked up my favorite cake....and pink tulips!  Nash rushed into my bedroom to shower me with gifts...and a ton of kisses!  Sophie came in too to offer up some Momma-love.  Nash gave me the present he made at school...that I did NOT help with at all.  A very cool board that he wrote in paint and glitter...Love U.  It's awesome!

Now...being 6 years old...he did NOT get the leave Mommy alone and let her move around unnoticed.  He wanted to be his Mommy-fied self and drive me crazy all day!  Yes, I get that....that is my boy!  Ever 5 minutes...he was in my face asking to hang out with me.

But, at the end of the day....I have a great Mother's Day.

I have a family who loves me enough to let me have what I want.....jammies, pizza, cake and tulips.....and peace!

this is why...

Have you ever wondered why?  

• Why did I go through this horrible episode in my life?
• How did I get such an amazing daughter?
• Why did he die?
• How did I get so lucky to meet such a wonderful man?
• Why has life sucked so much lately?  
• How did I get such a wonderful life?

We go through the things we do to become better people. 

If we only have wonderful, happy moments in life and we have nothing to compare them to...would they really feel that great?

Life has given me some amazing moments...and not so amazing moments.  And I am glad for them both!

For all of the good and bad I have been through....I like who I am today  :)

1st BBQ of the season!

Oh man...do I love BBQ!

And all that goes with the stuff that is BBQ'd.  Potato salad....mine is amazing!  Grilled bread...bread and smoke....OMG!  Kabobs....LOVE KABOBS!  Beef or chicken...I don't care!  Meat on sticks....yum! 

The deck looks great! 

The weather is fabulous! 

Got the planter boxes planted with flowers and Nash's garden planted with things to make pizza, tomatoes, basil, oregano and bell peppers...plus some strawberries.

And you can gaze down at the big veggie garden at the back of the yard.

this is NOT my swing...but you get the idea

An awesome swing....for swinging!

I am enjoying the outdoors this year!

to hold them back...or move them on

Last year I was faced with the idea of holding Nash back and have him repeat Kindergarten.  He was not doing well and was young.  I had meetings with his teacher, the counselor and principal all agreed...to hold him back.

I did.

It is something many parents face at this time of year.

Last year....I was not really sure I was making a good decision. 

But, on the first day of school...I knew I had made the greatest decision for him!  Who....I say who doesn't love kindergarten?  And who wouldn't love a bonus year...to get acclimated to your surroundings and the expectations placed on you.

I am SO VERY GLAD I held Nash back.  He is flourishing!  And now...is fully prepared to face 1st grade next year.

My perfect Mother's Day

• I am too hard to buy for because anything I need...I get myself.
• I don't let them cook for me...cuz' well, Hubby has served my kids weevils and honestly, I don't plan to eat them again.
• I take 2 extended weekends to scrapbook retreat a year.
• I do way too much already.
• when I spoke to my Mom...it was always about her and never about me, even when I had no one else to celebrate my Motherhood.
• I teach an after school art enrichment class and we have been in throws of making presents for their Moms.
• What I really want...is a day.

A day to sleep in, wear my jammies all day and look ugly.  A day to admire my family and all that I have created.  A day to do whatever I want...without question.  To play in my scrapbook room, to eat cake and pizza and drink diet Pepsi with the thought that one will cancel the others out  :)

This is my perfect Mother's Day and I know...this is what I will have from my Hubby & kids that love me!

my Boy and his cling-i-ness

Today is day 3 of Nash walking alone from his classroom to the playground before school starts!  I have had to walk him, holding hands all year.  And still his anxiety has been very high.  According to my therapist....I am doing what I need to do.  Scary!  I can see in his eyes that he would be happy holding my hand all the way thru college!

He still asks if he can be home schooled instead of going to school.  This scares me to death!  I would kill that child...or suffocate to death!  There is no way I am prepared to be a home schooling Mom...without an escape.

I have him on a sticker earning program that can be traded in for a prize of his choice.  If he can get 5 stickers....I will take him to WalMart to buy him his latest addiction....Angry Birds!

He adores them!

So, fingers crossed!

After we get to 5 stickers....then I think I am going to extend the program and make him earn 10 stickers before a prize.

Being a Mom...is.....hard!