I gotta a new computer...list

1. I have been thinking awhile about getting a new computer
2. Hubby goes thru computers fast
3. Maybe I am like Hubby #1
4. When he died....I had to find a home for his 8-track player....and tapes!
5. He was NOT that old.
6. Today...he would be 51
7. Ok...so, I am not as bad as Hubby #1
8. But, I am not a fan of change.
9. I loved my computer...but, it was getting slow
10. I knew I had a lot of stuff on it
11. And was always adding more photos....
12. More digital scrapbook kits.....
13. More business graphics....
14. and business tools  :)
15. So, I told Hubby...I would get one after our vacation.
16. He has been biting at the bit!
17. I told him I was really close the other day....
18. He had already done research
19. He showed me the computer I was going to buy....
20. He is NOT EVEN CLOSE TO A COMPUTER NERD!
21. But, he is Mr. Meticulous!
22. So, I would not have picked this computer....
23. I looked at a few packages...you know...monitor & tower.
24. I am NOT a lap top gal...no, no!
25. I like my desktop
26. So, anyway...I show him what I am think about...$700 max
27. Hubby....likes new...likes power
28. He threw out things like he knew what he was talking about
29. I must admit....he was convincing.
30. And after I went behind his back and looked at what he was talking about
31. HE WAS RIGHT!
32. I am so glad he does not read my blog.
33. I never let him know when he is right.
34. So, we went with a stand alone tower and a monitor....not a package deal
35. It was more than I wanted to spend
36. so, I put it on HIS credit card  :)
37. WOW!
38. I took my old tower with us to shop.
39. I dodn't want to pretend I know a whole bunch about computers....I don't
40. I wanted to buy it....
41. pay them to set it up....
42. and transfer all of my stuff to the new computer.
43. Well...the Geek Squad doesn't do that anymore
44. But, they will put all of your stuff on an external hard drive.
45. COOL!
46. they called for me to go in and pick up my computers today.
47. Oh, I was so excited....
48. I was having withdrawals!
49. When I got there....
50. The new one was done....but, not the old one.
51. Hey....I live up the hill.
52. Its an hour drive to get to you.
53. What's the deal?????
54. After lots of searching and getting the manager because they DID call and tell me to come....
55. They admit...they screwed up........
56. Kind of.......
57. My old computer is taking longer than THEY had anticipated
58. and I was faster than THEY anticipated  :)
59. the manager told me that I had over 90 GIGS of stuff that I requested to download.
60. OK???????
61. I have no idea what that means.
62. He said your husband said you had MAYBE 5 GIGS.
63. Silly Hubby......
64. The manager explained how much 90 gigs is.....
65. WOW!
66. I knew I had a lot of stuff.
67. Guess that's why it was slowing down  :)
68. And why....its taking SO LONG to download my stuff  :)
69. I have photos from the last 8 years
70. and
71. I am a digital scrapbooker
72. and
73. did I say photos?
74. I like the multi photo taking button so I can get the right shot.
75. And I take a photo of every scrapbook page I make.
76. and my business is an online digital craft making business....
77. so, I have a lot of graphics  :)
78. Ok....
79. I really needed a new computer with a HUGE memory!
80. and another external hard drive one dedicated to business and one to personal.
81. I will be glad to get my STUFF back......
82. soon  :)

thoughts for the 1st day of July

1. Ahhhh....summer.
2. Some days I like it...some I don't
3. I am already over having the kids 24/7
4. Come on school!
5. Taking them grocery shopping...together....on a Friday before a holiday weekend
6. At NOT 8am
7. What was I thinking?!?!?!?!
8. Have you ever found yourself screaming at your kids in the store??
9. And know...you have NOW lost your mind!
10. The stuff coming out of your mouth can never, ever happen.....
11. without at least 2 other people to help  :)
12. OK...I am facing a reality
13. Pretty sure my contract with the state is over
14. sucks!
15. Altho, with the way gas is climbing
16. and insurance, liability, wear & tear on my mini-van and so forth...
17. not sure I was making any money really.
18. But, it was keeping me in spending money for my little addictions....
19. scrapbooking stuff
20. shopping
21. spoiling my kids
22. damn!
23. Other businesses are taking a little while to come up
24. I am going to school...and that business will take some time to make into a money maker...but, it will FUN!
25. Waiting to get the job teaching scrapbooking.
26. Why was California the last state to get the revamp???
27. I have thought about going and getting a real job...............
28. ARGH!
29. Then...
30. what about the kids.
31. PTO
32. scrapbooking
33. blogging
34. I would need another wife to do everything I do for my family!
35. Oh...Christine...if only you could leave Kody and be my sister wife.
36. Leave the kids tho  LOL
37. Damn!
38. Now, trying to fill up the summer with activities for the kids.
39. Throwing nash in the van with a movie to watch while I drive in not an option with losing my contract.
40. I know...I don't know for sure.
41. they could very well call me next week......
42. But....its the state.
43. Lots happened with the budget
44. and....they got new equipment...even tho they say they can't send things digitally yet.
45. I am trying to be proactive and not waiting for them to make the decision
46. But, for me to make the decision whether or not I am done.
47. So, I made the decision......
48. and now...trying to live with it.
49. It's like breaking up.
50. I deserve better from a client...than to sit and wait.
51. OK.....3 day weekend and family fun!
52. Something come up.......really, really!

kids and long vacation trips in the car.

As most of you know.....as soon as school was out....the family was to embark on a LONG mini-van trip to the state of Washington & Oregon to see my step-daughter and granddaughter.

The day before we were to start the trip, I had to get the kids packed, me packed and take the boy to his end of season baseball party.  I had already had enough of the children and the husband...and now I was facing 17 hours in the mini-van with them....and 7 days in a hotel room.

I SNAPPED!


We needed to be out the door to go to the party when...no one would listen to me.

NOW I REALLY SNAPPED!

I got my purse and keys and out the door I went.  Not a word to anyone.

After I was about 2 blocks away....I realized I had no where to go.  LOL

So, I knew I still had a few things to pick up for the mini-van trip...so, I drove to CVS, bought the things and came home.  As calm as I could be...announced.....I am not going.

I am not getting in the mini-van with YOU PEOPLE!  I have got to be crazy to willingly get in the mini-van with you people and be trapped for DAYS!

I calmly...or so I thought at the time...told the family these words.

This was back on June 6th.

After I went crazy for a while....everyone became human again.  Or at least decided that one day...I was going to do what I have always promised them....so, don't let that day....be today  :)

We went to the baseball party...we arrived very late.  (now ladies, you know why)  We had pizza, talked to people and thanked the coaches.

When we got home...I was promised complete compliance.  I was promised, as a team...we would go on vacation.  We would work together...I would not have to be the pack mule, the mean one....I would get to have fun too!

The next morning....we loaded up the mini-van and headed off.

Honestly...the trip there was not too bad.  It was exciting, seeing new sights.  It had been a very long couple of weeks with 2 graduations for our family and lots of  loose ends to tie up...plus my daughter now heading to high school....which I am not happy about!  It really was a great trip.....there.

We got to our hotel.  Then the reality hits.  I really did cancel our condo this side of Canada and booked us in a hotel room with 2 queen beds.  Yep...that was me.  Wow...what was I thinking?????

Ok...life will be ok.

Thank GOD for the fountains!  We had a fountain on the side of our hotel.
Nash was in heaven....Hubby was willing to smile as much as possible as long as I was smiling.....and Sophie...well, she can be bought.

The room grew smaller as the days went by.  Thank goodness we spent a lot of time outside of the room seeing sights and visiting with our daughter & granddaughter....and of course, the fountains!

Then it was time to go to Portland.  The room was a big downgrade.  It was smaller, the food yucky-blah, there was a smell, and no fountain...or really any outside space to talk about.

We spent time at Toria's house.  She has a yard....and pushable garbage cans!  SCORE!

THEN IT WAS TIME TO DRIVE HOME.

I really wasn't sure my kids were going to make it home.  Whenever we had to stop....I would look at my hubby and say...I can get in this mini-van and drive away...and no one will know for a while.  No one would blame me.  Or I would look at him or the kids and offer to leave them at the rest stop with one of the lovely homeless folks that lived there.  He & the kids would smile...knowing...I was pretty close to serious.

If I heard...he's touching me one more time....I SWEAR!  If I heard.....MOOOOOOOM!  tell him to leave me alone!  If I heard....When are we going to get there???  AGAIN!

And the more they requested to stop...the longer it took to GET HOME!

Halfway thru the trip....I looked at Hubby and told him......I can NOT take you people anymore!

Hubby knew.....I was just about at the end of my rope!

We had a funeral to drive to the next day after we got home from Portland.  It was a 6 hour trip to Santa Maria....times 2.  I had to take Sophie and myself to say our good bye's to her Grandma - my Mother-in-law.  I knew it would be an emotional day...plus the driving!

I told Hubby....you and THAT boy are not coming with me to the funeral.  He looked at me...was disappointed because he was really hoping to meet David's brother.  But, he understood....that we had enough death and not to push me further. 

The earlier promise was still hanging in the air we breathed in daily  :)

I spent the next day...driving alone in the car...with Sophie.  She was plugged into her iPod.  She was a fast pee'er...or not if the bathrooms were bad....she could hold it for hours!  Her solitude could be bought with a candy bar or just plain money!

When we got home from the funeral trip…..I was calmer.  I had peace and quiet.  I listened to a funky radio station in the central coast wine country that was AWESOME!  I sang songs, talked to myself......and Sophie just listened to her iPod.

I love to drive.  It’s the most calming thing for me to do.

But……not………with………THOSE PEOPLE.

I do love my family more than anything...but there are times....well, you know  :)

The challenges of blogging

Today...I am linking up with Mama's Losin It Blog, Writer's Workshop

I really did start blogging a million years ago....ok...not a million but back in 1999.

I don't believe there were blogs back then...I don't know but I did write...alot!

I started a website called One Womans Journey.  I loved it.

I would write about anything that was on my mind...which was the death of my 1st husband, the death of my son....and how I was going to live thru it.  Also, it was about Sophie, my daughter...who at the time...was my hero because she was the only one that kept me alive everyday.  Because there were days...I didn't think I would survive and many days I really tried to figure out how to make it stop.

I really would tell myself that Sophie would be better off without me because I was such a mess.  She was a baby....anyone would take her.  Then I would think about my husband, her dad.  I knew if I left.....no one would tell her how much I loved him.....how much he loved her....and just how much he loved me.  I knew that I had to stay here....to make sure she knew all of this.

She is 13 1/3 now and I am remarried and I have a 5 year old son.  I did survive....not unscathed tho but survived I did.  If you ever meet my daughter you will be amazed at how amazing she is...in spite of being raise by me.

So, I started blogging again really on Facebook 2 years ago.  I would type out every thought that came into my head on Facebook as a post.  I thought I was so very clever.  It took me a while to figure out that it was going to be really hard to get my posts back so that they were all together.

Quandary.

So, one of my Facebook friends started a blog and it was a light bulb for me!

What to write???  And a title??

I came up with this one...The days and nights of a very busy Mom.  It describes me.  I have children that are bad sleepers...they get it from me.  So, sometimes the nights are as busy as the days.

Sometimes tho....what do I write about?  I have found myself looking on blog suggestion websites for something to write about.  Never to find anything that interests me.

Usually I look at my day, my kids, my family....the loss of a shoe  LOL

I have started a blog one way and it ended up another and I had to change the title.

I do like lists.  These are very therapeutic for me...because I don't know where they are going to go but I always feel better when I am done.  Now, the having to come up with "a 50 summer bucket list" was hard!  I cheated a little but, I listed 50.  I read my daughter-in-laws and laughed when she didn't get to 50...so, did a lot of others.

To me....blogging is my own story.  My own personal therapist...with an audience.  A scrapbook of my daily life.  It tells me what happened, what my kids are up to, things that are currently annoying and I post photos too  :)  I write about the good, the bad and the stupid.

I wish I had a bigger audience but honestly...I write for me.  I print it out in book form and place it with my scrapbooks.  Maybe one day when I am gone...one of my kids will read it and say...wow, it's amazing we survived at all.....that woman was a wack job!  Or they will say.......She was a good Mom.  Or maybe they will never, ever read and that's ok too.  Because I do and today...you did.

And everyday I am glad I have a place to express myself, to see myself....and to laugh at the funny things that happen in life.

The other day I also started another blog.

I love to scrapbook....LOVE IT!

I am a storyteller and I teach scrapbooking.  So, while I am waiting for my next teaching job....I thought hey...why not teach online.

So, if you are interested....here it is.    How to scrap your life

Now that site....is a challenge.

a thought about "Bridesmaids" the movie

I took my daughter to see the movie "Bridesmaids" today.

I laughed so hard...I snorted!

I loved the movie because it really got close to home and was a good example for my daughter.

Not one actress in the movie was a supermodel.  Yes...some were super skinny but they were a mess.  Everyone of them had a problem.

They weren't just pretty and skinny.

And the one that was gorgeous & skinny.....was so lonely she had to buy her friends.

And the one that was the most hysterical but most screwed up...kind of...was the fat chick.  And in the end...it was her that had the answer.  It's not about how you look....it's what you do with it and the confidence to carry it off.

OMG!  I loved that movie!

I have always been a fan of Melissa McCarthy.  She is hysterical!

We all have things we hate about ourselves.  But, we all are people....all flawed and trying to live our life the best we can.

It's always easy to look on the other side of the fence and say...wow, they have it all and I don't.  Until you walk in their shoes.

I tell my daughter this all of the time.  I have had some really horrible things happen to me in my life.  Raped, molested, abused, dead son....and dead hubby.  But, you know what?????  If I put my problems out on a table and you put yours out there....I would not trade!

I got the cards I was dealt.  I am playing those cards....good, bad or indifferent.

My life shaped me into the person I am.  And I like who I am.

Live your life.  And don't think others can tell you how to do it.  They can't.  No one has the answers.  Everyone has their messes in life and who's to say they have the answers for you.  You are the only one in your life.  Don't let others tell you want to do....make your own choices.

And one thing my daughter and I agree on.  Skinny people.

We know some are just born that way....others think they HAVE to be that way.  Skinny people have sharp edges.....chunky people don't.  We are soft and cushy.  We are a soft place to land.  We may not be pretty in tank top or bathing suits.....but, because of the crap we have taken from boys, so called friends and bullies....we got good hearts.

Think about this little tirade.  And go see Bridesmaids!

more knocked off my Summer Bucket list...shoes

OK.....my closet has been yucky!

I am not a neat shoe-putter-backer.  I kick them off into the closet and where they lay....is where they lay.

It drives the Hubby nuts! 

Especially since we share said closet.

I am too embarrassed to take a photo of the before......for me...that is really sad.

I normally would take a picture of anything.  And if this said closet belonged to anyone else in the family....a photo would have been taken.

Just sayin'!

I have an addiction to shoes....and not quality shoes either. 

I have found that shoes....don't care if you are fat or skinny.  There isn't a fat shoe store.  It is one place that we all can shop without weight issues.  I LOVE THAT!

But, one thing I have found.....that shoes do treat every one's feet equally.

I am 48 years old and NOT a skinny person.  For the last several years...I have had foot issues.  I have tried to find shoes to not hurt my feet.  Then one day when I saw Mr. Adam....Hot man o-rama-lama......my chiropractor, I asked him why this one foot hurt so darned much...no matter what I do.

Plantar Fasciitis.  OK....wth???

I immediately ignored THAT!

And darn.....DARN!  WTH!

OK...I found some flip flops that worked....for a short while...last summer.  And then Winter came.  They worked but my toes were cold.

Then a Foot Store catalog showed up at my house...it was a neighbors.  I stole it because I was curious and really didn't want MY name on it.

After perusing the catalog..........I figured out that Mr. Hot Adam was right.  But, it had nothing really to do with age or weight altho it could....but not necessarily.   But, I had a problem and needed to find a solution.

So, I ordered a paid of shoes.....and when they arrived...the angels sung!

SWEAR!

So, I have been slowly buying more quality shoes....for my problem.

But.....then I had another problem.  My closet.

So, I put on my list that I needed to clean out my closet.

Another problem my closet had....was this shoe.  I LOVE THIS SHOE!  I bought these shoes to wear to Ian & Emily's wedding....several years ago.

One time...when I was cleaning my closet....I lost it's mate.  I have been so sad!  But, I never gave up.  I kept him safe and knew I would never, ever give up!  I loved these shoes!

Today.............I found his mate  :)

Oh...happy day!

So, cleaning my closet was a HUGE success!  Not only did I find the long lost missing shoe....but, now my closet only holds comfortable shoes...or shoes that are known offenders but can stay because I love them and when I am in the mood for terrible foot pain, I can wear them!

So, here is my clean closet!

And here is what is going to be donated to those less fortunate people....or lucky people that don't have Plantar Fasciitis!

Sad really......I know I have a problem. 

But, now it is called a donation and tax deductible  :)

OK...still working on my list....

I know....I really don't have enough to do

As if I am just sitting around and twiddling my thumbs...I decide to start another blog!

I know....those that know me are shaking their heads....but really.  It's cool!

OK....well cool if you like scrapbooking. 

And in my life....there is nothing cooler...well except my kids, grandkids & married in kids....than scrapbooking!

So, go check it out...you know you want to.

Really...you do!

How to scrap your life

Don't make me give you the face...you know the face.  OK....I don't have a picture of MY face doing the face....but, I do have one similar...........

Yep.....I made the body, I made the face...this is a face that you will not forget  :)  It comes from my Mom....and from her Mom  LOL

So, go check out the blog...seriously!