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Thursday, September 15, 2011

locked out

I am hooking up with Mama Kat  today for a sad little story about locking my child in the house while I was insane  :)  Ok...not insane per say but back when Sophie was a tiny baby and I was a grieving new widow.

She was so cute!

A long time ago, in a far away land....I got myself locked out of my house....with my baby asleep in her crib.

Sad!

I can now look upon that as a time that could have been funny....but, was not.  Now, I laugh.  But, then I was hysterical!

Sophie was just 6 months old.  Her Daddy had just passed away about 10 days prior to this day.  As you can imagine....I was not in good condition.  I was hanging on my threads....really!

This day...was like any other.  I had gotten home from work, put Sophie to bed (she came to work with me at that time) for a nap.  It was about 2pm.  And at the time...I had a million sympathy cards coming in.  So, if I missed picking them up....my postman would send everything to the post office to make me pick them up.  So, I was diligent.

We lived in an apartment.  It was a transitional stop for us.  Hubby was working in Santa Barbara and my office was in Santa Maria.  We were saving money to move to Santa Barbara so, had chosen Lompoc as a temporary...in between place that was cheap and in the middle.

So, everyday I would put Sophie down for her nap, lock the front door and walk the half a block to our mailbox.....and then walk back.  I was a nice peaceful walk.  Alone.  Time to breathe some fresh air and think about the future and my life.

On this particular day....I was in a pretty good mood, until I got to my door.  Where was the key????

I searched my pockets...no key.

Where was the f$%#ing KEY?????


OMG!  I left it in the house.  And the other key...the one that belongs to my dead Hubby...is in the house!  WHAT AM I GOING TO DO??  I became a little hysterical.  This was before cell phones for regular people and besides...who would I call.  The owner of my other key is dead.

This is now the only time I was grateful to be living in an apartment!  I hysterically walked to the office....about 2 blocks away.  Told them the tale...they handed me a key and back I went.

Oh...my....goodness!  The RUN back was horrible!  I called myself every name in the book for locking my child in a house...alone!  What would have happened if there was a fire???  An explosion?  Nuclear War????

As someone that at the time worked for Court Appointed Special Advocates I was horrified at what I had done.

By the time I had gotten back into my house.  Nothing had happened.

Sophie was still asleep.

And I was a mess!

And you know...I never, ever did that again  :)

Sunday, September 11, 2011

busy, busy......busy


You can certainly tell that September is here....even if it is still hot.

Kids are back in school!  YEAH!

Soccer is back with practice during the week and games on Saturday.

And my schedule is packed with meetings, my own school, kids birthdays.

Things I think about while running like a maniac....

  1. I can hardly wait for four days to myself at scrapbook retreat!
  2. Christmas is almost here
  3. Ginny's birthday is next Sunday...makes me sad.  Sophie wants to go out to dinner...I would like to send up some balloons.  She said that will make her sad.  I am sad.
  4. Can I pull this off????  writing articles, blogging, school, meetings....everything???
  5. I love my family....but, I miss my Mom.
  6. But, I am enjoying the peace & calm of NOT having a relationship with her.
  7. But, I am like a dog......I miss my Mom.
  8. I am glad Sophie only has me as a Mom....but, I think if you get a screwed up Mom...you should get to get another one.
  9. And not one that tells me how terrible I am or fat or that I am a bad Mom.  One like I see others have...one like me.  A little overprotective but knows it.  A Mom's who's eye light up when I walk in the room.  My eye's light up when my kids walk in the room.
  10. I miss Ginny.  She was my second Mom.  She loved me and didn't have to.
  11. I miss having someone there...in my corner.
  12. Someone to call when I need them.
  13. They don't have to have the answer...they just have to answer the phone.
  14. I so want to matter, to be someone.  
  15. To be someone that someone is proud to know.
  16. I run hard and fast....to matter.
OK...now I am crying.  Must be a good therapy thought  :)