I have had to make some severe life choices in the past many years. They have NOT been easy to make. But, they made me a better person for making them. I try to not make choices without thinking them all the way through...especially the REALLY BIG ONES! The more I am choices that are for me....the easier they are for ME to make.
One again, I am reposting an article from
www.purposefairy.com Yep....I love them!
I believe the choice to be excellent begins with aligning
your thoughts and words with the intention to require more from
yourself. ~ Oprah Winfrey
Making choices is probably the most stressful thing that we do as
humans. Or perhaps more accurately, the stressful thing we do is to
choose avoidance when we don’t like what choices we’re facing. This is
what creates the stress.
It doesn’t have to be that way though, especially if you don’t make
yourself solely responsible for the outcome of all the things that you
don’t like about your life. Basically we work like this: When we don’t
like the result of our choices, we blame ourselves and lose confidence
in our ability to make choices in the first place.
None of us can predict the outcome of every choice we make –
including how others will or won’t respond to the things we choose for
ourselves. And to think that we can, need to, or should is the enemy
that so often prevents the feeling of living with purpose.
What we can do, however, when we are fearful about making a choice,
is turn towards it, rather than away from it. Get uncomfortable for all
of five minutes (that’s literally the length of time of actual
discomfort at most), and make a decision in your mind to see how it
feels before you act on it. You can learn to do this in just a few
moments with practice.
To help you, here are seven strategies for not only making choices, but creating choices that you did know you had:
1. When faced with a choice that you don’t like or
want to make, first ask yourself: “In this situation, what choice makes
me more of who I want to be in this world?” Your choices are a
reflection of what you value most in this world whether that’s love,
kindness, integrity, courage, or something else.
2. Reflect on the choice you want to make and then
ask yourself: “How will I feel about this choice in 10 minutes? 10 days?
10 months? 10 years?” Your mind can imagine future feelings that will
help you to make big decisions like which job to take, what school to
attend, or who to marry, etc.
3. Ask yourself a more beautiful question than:
“What should I do?” – I guarantee that the answer is never good when the
word “should” appears.
Substitute with: What’s the courageous thing to do? What is
the loving thing to do? What is the life-serving thing to do? Or make up
your own more beautiful question!
4. When in doubt, ask for some space and time before
you answer. A few minutes. An hour. A day. A week. No one expects you
to answer right away (except you). This way you can still your mind and
feel into the right choice for you.
5. Find a “private ear” – someone that will mirror
back what you really want for yourself. There’s always a part of you
speaking your truth amongst the jumble of other stuff you’re saying.
Well-meaning, highly invested people are well-meaning, highly invested
listeners.
6. Always give yourself permission to choose again.
And again. And again. Practice making choices! If you choose and it
doesn’t go well, no need to be stubborn and think “I promised.” No one
really benefits when you do something that you don’t want to because it
shows and builds resentment.
7. It’s okay to re-open a decision with:
“I
thought this was what I wanted, but now that I have more
insight/information/awareness of how I’m really feeling, I’ve decided …”
You will like yourself better for doing this plus you build genuine
relationships this way – the kind that you actually want in your life.
The goal: To feel more at home in the world. Of course!
This article was written by
Sabrina Ali.
Sabrina is a Career Counselor and the author of the Bliss Kit: a
digital guide to authentic career creation.
