back to school shopping for Sophie

Kill me....kill me now!

I always know when it is time....Sophie starts talking about how she has nothing to wear.  Even tho I have bought her many tops over the summer...and the dreaded bathing suit.  But, she needs pants.

I would much rather take a beating than take Sophie shopping.  It's awful!

My daughter is curvy.  She does not want to be curvy.  And she wants to wear the same clothes that other teens wear....that just don't fit.

Skinny jeans on a curvy girls equals disaster.  She will have muffin tops and look hideous. 

I am not a skinny person...I have been where she is today.  I have had to make peace with my curves and not wearing what others can wear.  I even had to make my own clothing while growing up because my Mom hated to shop and it was easier to put me in stretch pants with the seams down the front or toss me a pattern and ugly fabric so that I could make my own clothing.

But, when my daughter puts on the clothing that I know won't fit...and goes into the dressing room....I would do anything to make the pain stop.  But, she has to come to terms with this....she will face it forever.

Dressing room are actually designed by Nazi's as a new form a torture.  Clothing is now made in countries where they have no food so they have no idea what a curve it and every picture my daughter has to look at in a magazine has been airbrushed so that the person doesn't even resemble itself.

I told her this morning....

1. Put on a happy face.  
2. Look at your body with open eyes....see what is really there.  
3. Don't buy clothes to fit the imaginary body you have fabricated in your head.
4. It doesn't matter what the tag says the size is....its how it fit.
5. If it fits well...you will look good.
6. Don't look at what is in fashion...look at what is flattering.
7. You are not the tag size....we can cut it out and you can be any size you want to be.
8. You are beautiful.
9. You are built like a pear.
10. I am sorry you don't have boobs....
11. I will buy you chicken cutlets for your bra.
12. I never had boobs until I was 19...and had to stuff my bra with tube socks or tissue.
13. You have an Italian butt and my hips.
14. There are girls in other countries that would give anything to have your ass.
15. There are people in this country that are having implants to get your ass.
16. You always want what you don't have...always.
17. You are the most beautiful girl.
18. You are smart, funny, beautiful....and amazing!
19. You are so much more than your individual parts.
20. I understand and will do whatever I can to make this ok.
21. Just PLEASE work with me.
22. I am not your enemy!
23. I am your Mom and love you more than words can say.

So, soon....I will walk into the store and pray that it ends swiftly, isn't terribly painful and that we can both still love each other.

Wish me luck!

a poem for many thoughts

For the last couple of years...you know I have been dealing with my past demons.  I bought this book called "The Bounce Back Book".  I keep it in the bathroom...as that seems to be the place as a Mom that I can sometimes have peace...only when I lock the door.  So, I read this poem a lot.

I like it because it tells me to appreciate everything...the good and the bad because they both can bring about something new and wonderful...or a new way to look at things.  Anyway...if you ever need a new perspective...read this.


Guest House by Rumi

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
Some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
Who violently sweep your house
Empty of its furniture,
Still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
For some new delight.

when a Mommy is sick

It's the middle of Summer and we are struck down with cooties.

The boy came down with Strep on Tuesday.  I took him to the doctor and they didn't even have to do a culture it was so bad.  So, antibiotics for the boy!  the doctor said I don't have to keep him away from the pool and anything...he will be his own monitor...and sure enough...he was.

Then yesterday...while I was out running errands with the boy....I got a call from my daughter who was home with her girlfriend having a sleepover date.  I didn't even bother them before I left because they were up late.....waking up the boy  :)

But, she called to tell me that Hubby called to say he was working a double tonight and she was officially dying.

When I got home...........she looked like death.  Her room smelled of death farts and her poor girlfriend Sarah was NOT EVEN wanting to be there.  I looked at Sarah and asked if she wanted to go home....immediately she says...YES!

So, get Sarah and Nash back in the car, stop at Safeway to pick up Hubby a sandwich for dinner and head to Sarah's house.  She is grateful for the ride and to be away from cootie girl.

We then make the drive to Hubby's work, drop off lunch and Nash announces that since Daddy is working...we should have a date.  I tell him that if we have a lunch date....we are eating dinner at home tonight.  He consents and off to McDonalds we go.

By the time we get home...my head is killing me and my stomach is yucky.  I take some ibuprofen and pretend that it is gone.  I take Nash swimming....and have to get out early because my butt wants to explode.  OK....I know there is something on the horizon for me.

As the day progresses....I am going slowly downward.  Yes, I want to die.

But, I can't.

Because Mommy's can't get sick....ever!  And if we do...we have to NOT be sick because then who will do our job????

I go to bed early last night...but Hubby calls to wake me up.  I tell him I am dying...he offers to come home.  Why??  You are not a Mommy...it won't help.

I then pass out.  I sleep badly....Hubby wakes many times to offer help.  I am lucky he offers...but, really what can he do???

Hubby wakes me this morning to ask if he should stay home.  No...then last nights overtime go to straight time and then it counts for nothing.  Please go to work.

So, now....I am dying.  The girl looks better but feigns death because she doesn't want to take care of the boy.  Altho...I must admit...her room is still smelling of death farts....its disgusting!  Maybe she is telling the truth.  And the boy....is well....a 5 year old who wants someone to play with him.

I explain that if he does NOT behave....I will not take him to swim lessons.  He must be on his best behavior because I am dying.  He says....Mommy, I am "being Have".  This really is the cutest thing when he says it.

So, here I sit at my computer because it gives me a reason to sit up.  The boy is watching TV in his room.  The death girl is taking a shower.  Its going to be 100 degrees today...NOT a day to be sick.

I have 6 1/2 hours until Daddy gets home and I can go to bed.

Being a sick Mommy sucks!

growing up

I am pairing up with Mama's Losin' It this week.  Enjoy the read.  Topic this week...when did you realize your child was growing up....or something like that  :)

This has been a topic in my house for the last year.

My baby.....will be starting high school in 3 weeks.


OMG!  3 weeks!

This is killing me!

ballet class at the age of three

When I think of my Sophie...this is who I think of.

She was cute and adorable and thought I could do anything!

I offered her $500 to NOT graduate...but, if she felt she had to...I put this sticker on my car.

This is who I have now........

She is almost 14 years old and going to be a Freshman in high school.

How in the Hell did this happen????

Folks.....she has body parts!  She is taller than I am.  And I have had to have the talk with her about mowing the who-ha area........and don't ever have SEX the facts of life.

I have devoted many blogs to her growing up.

About how I would do anything to hold her back just one more year.  The prayers I have prayed to anyone that would just make time stop for just a few minutes so that I can catch my breath and get ready for this!

Yesterday I got a packet in the mail from the high school.  I sat right down at the table and cried.  Sophie came in and was worried.  I showed her what came in the mail...she looked at me and said...I am sorry Mom...but, I am going to high school and there is nothing you can do about it.


CRACK!  That is my heart breaking...breaking I tell you!

For those that are reading this and you have little children running around the house.  Get up and grab them right now!  Put them in a ziplock baggie and place them in the freezer.  I know it sounds cruel now but in a couple of years....you will wish you had done this.  Because that is the only thing that will stop them from growing up and breaking your heart.

Because the day you see that they are on their way out of your life....it's too late.  They won't fit in the baggie.  And they will look at you funny when you beg them to just go back to the days when they were twirling on the floor at ballet class because it was funner to twirl on the ground than on their toes.

Oh...what I wouldn't give for one more year of princesses, dress up, clothing that never quite matched and shoes that smelled so bad because she loved them so much she never took them off.


I miss that girl.  I love the girl I have now....but, I miss the little girl. 

She is the most amazing creature that I have ever known...and I made her.  

She is the best part of me...and her Dad.  

She is my future....but, I miss her past.

can you save money by couponing???

OK....I have been couponing since the 1st of this month.

I was very skeptical.

But, since I lost my biggest client that pretty much kept my business afloat I thought I would try it.  Either that or go find a real job that will let me do everything I want to do and let my business go.  Since there is no business that will do everything I need it to do for me.....I had better keep my business and ride out this turn of events.

So, Hubby and I have watched the Extreme Coupon show on TV.  And we were in awe!  And when I saw the writing on the wall about my client....I told him...I would try the coupon thing.

I researched it.  And found that in Northern California...Extreme Couponing is pretty impossible.  Our stores don't double coupons or even take multiple coupons.  But, I can save money.

So, I joined a couple of sites that help with the task at hand and I tell you....I am saving money!

There was one time that I had the store clerk applaud me for my savings....48%!  that is pretty good.  I don't have a stock pile per say yet....but, I have many of the same items stocked up.  I have saved money and we have more food in the house than we have in a long time.

I refuse to buy anything we won't eat.  Like roman noodles....I hate them.  But, we have a ton of the things we do eat.

And...I am saving money!

Instead of just taking my list and shopping at the grocery store or WalMart....or heading down the hill to Target.  I first go to www.couponmom.com

I login and go the the stores listed that are in my area.  I only have one grocery store that I can coupon in on her site...Safeway.  And lucky for me...that's the store I love to shop in!  I also shop at WalMart, CVS and Rite Aid.  So, I tag the store I want to shop in...and she tells me where the coupons are and matches them up to what the store has on sale.

easy peasy lemon squeasy!

I keep my coupon flyers in a stack, with the date on the top right corner just like she says to do.

I am telling you.....I am impressed at how easy this is.

Yes, it does take a few more minutes and preparation....but, not a lot.  And the money I am saving.....awesome!

So, now instead of having to give up my business I can now focus more on it, have more time with my kids and scrapbook more often....and I am going to school too.  To improve my business skills and get it to where I want it to be.

So, couponing....who knew?????

Garbage trucks & cans

Boys....are......strange!

Really strange!

For the last I guess 6 months....we have had this obsession in my house.  Garbage day.

Normally Nash would not acknowledge the noise outside on garbage day.  If he heard something he would have run in the house.  That boy has always hated loud sounds.

If Hubby forgot to take out the garbage cans on garbage day....I would be responsible for them.   I would ask for help...but, you know what that is like.

Then one day....we got home right before the garbage truck came by.

Nash didn't fall instantly in love.  But, he watched.

The truck would pull up...men would jump down, grab our cans, dump them and be on their way.  It was not a big deal....until......

they updated their trucks!

Now, the truck stops...a huge arm comes out and grabs the can.  Flings it in the air, dumps the trash and places the can back in the same spot.

Nash....was....in....love!

And then...he figured out...he was big enough to move the cans himself.

OMG!

Now, this was back in March, 2011.

Oh my.......you see the determination on his face????

We have a slanted driveway.  He moves our garbage cans....probably 50 times a day.  You never know where they are going to be.

Yes, I have run over them because sometimes he parks them behind my van.

This drives my Hubby NUTS!

I figure....it keeps him busy.

The other day....I wanted to do something special for him because I was taking his sister to a concert that night and NOT him.  So, I had to pay our garbage bill...so, I thought I would pay it in person.

Something to do, he could see the garbage guys....it would be fun.

Well....when we got there....the office lady was so nice.  I told her all about Nash and his obsession.  And how he really wants a smaller garbage can.....but, we produce too much garbage so we need the bigger can.  Nash had the 3 women in that office captivated!

When finally I could pull him away to leave....one of the women called out to us and offered Nash a present.

A mini garbage can.

He announced that this was the best day of his life!

He has barely stopped playing with the can...and his garbage truck toy.  He can spend hours in the liing room making garbage stops and loading the can on his truck.

The pure joy!

Now, I find myself on the web...looking for more cans...more garbage trucks.

My boy....I sure do love him!

yellow, yellow...kiss a fellow

This week I am hooking up with Mama Kat for her Writing Prompts.

I love the writing prompts.  If you are just reading this because you find my life as fascinating as I do....that is...well sad  :)  But, if you are reading this because you have a free moment, am curious about me (my other name is Nosy Rosy), or just doing the look at 3 other blogs...I hope you feel better after you stopped by.

So, the topic that stood out for me this week was the color Yellow.

I don't recall ever having an attraction to the color yellow while growing up.  I remember my pink phase and then the blue phase that followed to show I was not a girly girl.  I don't have a TOTAL favorite color.  But, I do have a list of colors that I love and love how they make me feel.

To wear and to be surrounded by...is green.  Khaki, sage, celedon.....I don't like bright greens.  But, I do like greens that feel calm, earthy...relaxing.  Plus...I have green eyes and when I wear green...I always get compliments.

Also to wear...pink.  I am blond with a tan...I look good in pink.

To be around....red. Why???  You would think I wouldn't like red.  It's a Mom color.  When I was young...I never, ever wore it.  EVER!  Then as I grew older I liked being around it.  Not bright red or Chinese red but, reddish.  Burgundy or brick.  My house is beige with reddish trim.  The interior of my house decorated in reddish and greenish.  My Mom always said red made her want to fight.  Reddish makes me feel comfortable.  Don't ask why.  I don't know.  But, I have started to like wearing power red.  It gets attention.

To wear....again...white.  I like the cleanliness of white.  I like that it cleans well, is bright, feels happy and goes with everything!  Yep...I have a ton of white shirts and blouses.  I love the look of a white shirt and jeans.  Simple.

A color I have not liked in a long time....blue.  It has always made me feel...blue.  Depressed.  Sad...very sad!  But, as a scrapbooker I deal with lots of colors. 

As a Mom...my daughter learned her colors and categories of colors...primary, secondary and tertiary...before she learned her numbers and letters. 

Lately....I am starting to like blue.  I just bought a new quilt for my bed and curtains.  Needed a change.  Everything I picked had blue in it.  And yesterday....while coupon shopping I saw this nail polish and had to have it!

It is so not me...Hubby looked at me weird when he came home and saw it on my toes...and fingers!  I have not painted my fingernails since I was pregnant 6 years ago.  But, I love this color.  I love the blue ticking curtains in my bedroom that match my quilt.

Blue...who knew???

Now...I just bet you are thinking...she titled this blog "Yellow, yellow...kiss a fellow"  Ok...I am getting to it.

When we bought this house 6 years ago....I had never owned a house before.  So, I have never, ever had color on my walls.  So, after we bought the house I told Hubby that I wanted to paint the walls as soon as possible.  He flatly said no.  LOL  Really???  NO???  Oh honey...I don't think so.

He said that it ruins the resale value of a house when someone has to come in and see someone else's personality in a house.  So, I am not sure if I had to paint the walls because I was told no...or because I had always wanted something other than white walls.

I went to hardware stores and picked up paint samples.  I had them taped all over the house.  He hated them!  LOL

The first room I painted was our bathroom.  Oh...we was horrified.  I painted it khaki green.  I bought bright red towels and red rugs and added yellow to the mix so it wouldn't look like a Christmas bathroom...and because blue was NOT on my list.

I just loved the feeling I got from the yellow.  It was happy!  It was energizing!  It was soothing too!  Oh...I loved it.

Poor Hubby.  He excused my lack of knowledge and said I had better not paint the living room.

So, by this time....I was HUGELY pregnant.  I was bed ridden and could do nothing but think of painting everything yellow!

So, as soon as Nash was born and I figured out how I was going to take care of him and Sophie....and paint....I did it.

I am not a masking tape girl.  And I knew that I had to do it while Hubby was at work.  So, that meant doing it slowly...over time.  And I don't like mess.  I can NOT live in chaos!

So, I bought the paint.  And really hated using a roller and paint brushes in my bathroom.  I am an artistic painter by history Things I have built, painted or made  So, I decided a large sponge would be AWESOME!

So, the first day...at nap time.....I got the paint, a drop cloth for the floor and a towel to sit the paint on and a big wettish sponge...and painted the entryway! 

OMG!  IT WAS BEAUTIFUL!  

When I was done...I cleaned up and got Nash up from his nap.

I AM AMAZING!

When Hubby got home from work...it was the first thing he saw.  His eyes bulged out!  It was blotchy...just the way I wanted it to be.  Not flat and dull.  I wanted it to catch the light in different ways.  When he finally spoke he said he hated it.  I said....so.  He said paint it back the way it was.  I said....no.  :)

So, as you might have guessed.  About every other day...or when I had the energy......I painted another wall.  I only had time to do one wall in a nap time frame.  Then when I was done with the living room and dining room.  He said...it was beautiful  :) 

Ok....Duh!

I am the second wife.  Poor first wife.  Never got to have color on her walls.  Even one of my step-daughter's walked in the house (she was 18ish), saw the walls and looked at me and said....."DAAAAD!  When I used a coloring book painting kit and painted my walls....you were furious." 

Oh, my sweet Toria....she was impressed!

And now...my step-son and daughter-in-law have a house and the first thing they did was paint the walls.

Not yellow.......but...not white  :)

Oh yellow.

A strong color.

A color to say...hello, how are you today?  

I am happy. 
I am energized.  
I am soothed  :)

Thanks for stopping by!

love the relaxing weekends....

First of all...let me just say that I have 2 children at home. 

A 5 year old boy & 13 year old girl....both are on the verge of moving up a year.....both are home this summer....and both are driving me crazy!

But....weekends are different.

As soon as Hubby walks in the door on Friday afternoon....I am knocked down to the 3rd position in the family.  I love it! 

When the boy was first born and in an emergency....I am #1!!!!  But, not anymore.  When I noticed this...I was a little hurt.  He is my baby....I should be #1 in his life.

• I am only needed now when Daddy is not home....only if Sis is no where to be found or hiding in her room.
• there is blood
• there is a need for food or drink that is not water from the dispenser
• he needs something behind a door that is locked or too high for him to reach
• he is bored and Sis is no where to be found or NOT answering her door.
• I am the only one left.
• he needs kisses & hugs and tucked into bed.
• he wants to swim and no one else will swim with him

Other than that....I am #3

I am getting OK with this.  Because now...on the weekends....I am free!  I putter around the house, hide in my scrapbook room, watch wedding shows or scrapbook shows....I can do pretty much anything...even walk out the door to go shopping. 

Hallelujah!

I know I should be sad...but, I am not.  I was.  But, I am enjoying it.  It may change...but now....it's pretty nice!

Hubby....is an easy mark for the manipulator....A.K.A. the boy.  He actually lets the boy dictate what to do.  I do not.  I had a serious talk with Hubby many weeks ago and threatened him living under a bridge if he didn't stand up for himself with the boy.  He tried....until he saw that I was not going to follow thru.  And the reason I am not following thru.....

peaceful weekends.

I have to be big, bad Mommy all week long.  And sometimes on the weekend I have to bring the hammer down on the boy when I have had enough and see that it is becoming a mountain thing...not a mole hill thing....and he is running Daddy around and Daddy is now at his wits end.

I informed Hubby that he is walking a bad road and better stop.  But, the noose is not quite around his neck yet.  The boy is a fierce competitor...and is only 5.

Until Hubby yells Uncle...or I have had enough....I will continue to enjoy my weekends.

But.......vacation hell was only 4 weeks ago.  These people have short memories.

I don't.

a bad day

I wrote this for me...because something came up for me with my Mom yesterday and I needed to get this off my chest.  So, part of me doesn't want to post this...and part does.  So, I guess I will and be part of Mama Kat's Writing Prompt this week.

I have been lucky in this past 12 to 15  months and not really had a lot of bad days.

I did before....a lifetime of them.

I was raised in a very dysfunctional family.

1. Parents divorced when I was 9
2. oldest of 3 kids
3. Mom married the first guy that said he would move her out of the small homey town we lived in
4. moved us to Las Vegas
5. you can't imagine the shock!
6. Step-dad turned out to be a molester
7. Mom only married molester for personal gain
8. didn't care what was happening at home.
9. She was busy with other boyfriends and her life.
10. I was responsible for the house, the boys, and my step-dad.
11. She left him every May
12. and returned every August
13. sometimes we moved with her
14. sometimes she left us behind
15. when she finally left him for good
16. there were times we didn't know where she was
17. lots of different men came thru our house
18. we were raised in chaos
19. Mom drank
20. natural father didn't care about me because I was a girl
21. he focused on my brothers
22. they both turned out to be drunks and drug addicts
23. both served time in jail and prison
24. life was something to survive 
25. not learn to be an independent person
26. but, to make it from minute to minute
27. keep head low
28. do whatever you are told
29. and when you cry....know that no one cares

Ok...so, I am now 48 but almost 3 years ago, everything came to the top.  Mom was going thru stage 2 breast cancer and falling apart thru it and oldest brother, Ricky, had stage 4 kidney cancer and he did not survive.  Step-father (husband #4) was now being inappropriate with girls in my family and propositioned me.

I stood up for myself and my daughters.

It was same ol', same ol'...like my whole life.

I finally said no!  No to that crap.  No to my Mom.  No, to just surviving!

While trying to get across to my Mom that this was unacceptable and as long as she did not stand up for me and my family.....I could not carry on a relationship with her.  Not that I asked her to leave my step-Dad....I just can have him around me or my family and children.  This went on for several weeks...her telling me I was crazy...me telling her that I am done acting like nothing is going on.

This crap will never happen to MY DAUGHTER!

Because my Mom is the center of her world...and she thinks everyone else's.  She pleaded with my Hubby to make him see that I was crazy.  She went to my daughter-in-law and step-daughter to get me to change my mind.  She was pretty pathetic...telling people that I was lying, should be examined and as usual, I was lying and doing this only to hurt her..

She left a package of crap she bought at a yard sale.  Projects that she said she was saving to do with Nash...her favorite child of mine.  Favorite because he looks just like her favorite child...my brother, Ricky.  The box and letter were not addressed to me but to Hubby and Nash.  It was a letter telling them I was pathetic and ruining their lives and as well hers....I was worthless.  And to never let me read the letter.

I am blessed to have a WONDERFUL Hubby.

I read her letter.........and I have never, ever really let loose all of the emotion I have held on to in my life.  It was a guttural scream that I could not stop.  I fell to the floor and groaned, cried, hyperventilated....until I couldn't speak or move anymore.

My hubby picked me up and put me to bed.  I slept for days.

I went to therapy and dealt with my past.  I still have things come up and smack me.  I know....my point of reference is not like others that came from a more normal life.  Sometimes...I just don't know or understand things.   I do my best.

This was the beginning of the end of my bad days.

It took many months to recover from that....ok...I know I am not recovered but I am working on it.  And better for the time I spent in therapy.  And am still working on myself.

mid-July and nice weather???

I don't know where you live but here in Sonora....July is a killer.

We live in the foothills in northern California and most think...wow, great weather.  Wrong!

Starting now....we are hitting over 100 many days and on those lucky days....110.  Thats why we bought one of those put up yourself pools.  Its awesome!

Its deep enough to swim and play with the kids....and really cool off!

Best money ever spent!  EVER!

Our grandson Elliot, 3

So, now we are having a week of high 70's and mid 80's.  I am telling you...this is HEAVEN!  When last week...when we were sitting in the sunny side of the field at a baseball game....it was 104 and we were dying!

But, I would take this weather every day!

And Mr. Nash will still get in the pool...altho, I may not.

Our son Nash with Elliot.

BEST MONEY EVER SPENT!

little boys and thier private parts

We have been going thru that time of our lives when everyone's privates parts are a topic of conversation for our 5 year old son.  In any public place, Wal-Mart, dinner, when company is over...grocery store and to my friend the store manager  :)

All of the sudden about 10 days ago....he started getting interested in touching my daughter.  She is 13 and it makes her scream.  Now, its a game.

At first I did not think like this.

I was raised in a home with a molester and a Mom who choose to ignore what was happening.

So, this is a VERY OMG!!! topic for me.

Now, I guess I should have not been getting undressed in front of him a while ago.  It never occurred to me that it was time.  Our 13 year old daughter was doing the same thing.  To us...he is a baby.  And slowly......we realized he is not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I use real words with my kids...vagina, penis.  Always have.  Except now.....with the 13 year old girl....vagina gets a look.  And now...I kind of like...Who-Ha.  That way I can have a conversation in public..we all know what I am talking about but no one needs to freak out.  And...the bonus point....it really irritates my daughter.

But, the boy has decided that reaching out and saying he want to touch my daughter's penis....causes her to scream.  So, he is a boy....its summer....this is FUN!  DAMMIT FUN!

He also likes to say the word anytime he can.  Which of course....gets the 13 year old to get upset.  MORE FUN!

And because the 13 year old just doesn't get it....argues with him that SHE does NOT have a penis.  Really???  Are you really going to go THERE!?!

He also likes the word....Boobies.

Of course...what male doesn't????  What male in this world doesn't want their own set to play with...whenever!

I told my daughter to start locking her door....because he wants in her room.  It was always a free show.....why not now????  This morning, she was taking a shower.  The door was cracked 1/4 of an inch.  The boy announces...I have to go potty....with a smile!  Really?  Do I look like I was born yesterday????

I had to start locking my door as well.  When I told him this morning that I wanted him out of my room while I showered....he demanded an answer.  I explained that he is older now....and now I need my privacy.  He can't watch me shower TV while I shower anymore.  His only remark....Mom, are you going to wear your flowered panties????   FREAKING PERVERT!  No my son...this is no longer any of your concern.  You are a big boy now go in your room while I shower....and shower twice because I am totally FREAKED OUT!

So, I have been telling my hubby about all of this and he really sloughs it off.  Then the other day...I told him....I will not have a practicing pervert in my house...I am getting a gun.  Now, I had his attention  :)  He talks to to boy.  Claims that it is all good now.  He did his manyly thing!

Nope!  Sorry Honey...you are being played like a violin!

Tonight, I explain further to my astonished hubby......that the boy it at that lovely age and us women folk are at war.

You would think...being raised with brothers I would have been more prepared.

Maybe it was all the other fun in the house that kept me unprepared for this.

I just placed an order with Amazon....boy child perversion....HELP ME!  $50 later...and I feel like I might be on the right track here.

Summer parenting is at its all time low right now. 

Or I can look at it another way.  Our boy is keeping his mind fresh and ready for learning again when school starts  :)  Yes...that's what I will think.  I am Co-President of the PTO....I can't claim a pervert child :)

family, Sunday....and tired

1. got a lot on my mind
2. trying the extreme couponing...saved 38%
3. I was very excited!
4. I am using coupon mom
5. they do a lot of the work for you.
6. a friend also recommended taking a business course...and I need it!
7. I called on the phone to reserve a spot for the classes...but will go tomorrow to pay for the spot....and see if there are spots open.
8. I think this is the direction I need to be going.
9. got to spend some quality time in my scrapbook room.
10. putting together a class for How to scrap your life
11. Watch for it....its going to be great!
12. Hubby and I watched Time Traveler's Wife on HBO
13. The book is WAY better
14. Hubby turns to look at me while watching the movie and asks....where would you go if you could?
15. I smile
16. I don't give an answer and ask for his.
17. He rattles off several places he would go time travel to
18. honestly....I can't think of one.
19. finally...the day Sophie is born
20. Hubby looks at me....questioning my face?????
21. I am feeling really awkward
22. He is all sentimental..............and I am lost
23. I listen to his places he would travel.
24. I think wow...........I don't have any place or anyone I would see.
25. I cry.
26. I ask him......Am I weird?
27. Honey....Do, I appear weird to others?
28. Somtimes...........but he says he can tell when I cover it up but I am good at covering.
29. With him I don't have to.
30. He says I was raised in a battle zone, my mission?????  To survive
31. I don't like having stories that I think I tell as funny....and but to others......they are very sad.
32. I feel like a foreigner from a different planet.
33. I understand the language........it's the point of reference I am lost with.
34. I always have to look at what I know....as wrong, not normal.
35. I go to my training as a therapist to see what is the RIGHT why to do it.
36. Then try very hard to make it look simple and normal.
37. I think I feel lost in my life at least 50% of the day.
38. My life really went bad when I was 12 and stayed....BAD!
39. This is why the past almost 2 years have been so hard watching Sophie grow up.
40. Its scary....memories are everywhere.  They are good, sad....but, really bad.
41. Have you ever picked your Mom up drunk from a bar?
42. I have.
43. More than I wish I had.
44. She would get hot in the car, then take her clothes off, while you are driving....or in the front of the house.  
45. She always walks in the house....naked.
46. Do you know what a belligerent,naked drunk does after she eats fried eggs, bacon, and toast????
47. She proceeds to puke all over everything.......
48. and passes out.
49. And if you leave it for her.....well, you learn early....you DON'T.
50. I would give anything for a day of my past to be normal....really.
51. Not scary.

What to do....what to do

• I love Errand Girl
• Not ever been a money maker of a business but did exactly what I wanted it to do.
• Should have aimed higher maybe.
• When the economy was hit.....
• so was I.
• I was doing gangbusters.....
• then I was the first one cut out of the budgets of my clients.
• But, I was expendable
• ...I wasn't groceries, 
• or gas
• or clothing
• I made your life easier
• and you gave me the ability to have freetime to raise my kids and do all of my volunteer work.
• So, 
• what to do now???
• Honestly....
• I have a couple of small clients that I LOVE!
• and I can hold on for a while with them.
• But, I lost my financier client.
• Not, that I really was making money when you look at the books.
• With all that was going out to support this client
• gas, insurance, wear & tear...and having to BEG to get paid in a timely manner
• and at the end of a 2 year contract....
• when gas prices were much LOWER
• Pretty sure I am not losing anything really.
• Hubby and I have been talking about this possibility for the last couple of months.
• I saw the writing on the wall.
• Hubby did not.
• So, I started pushing other aspects of my business and branching out.
• It's still a tough economy and people are still holding on to their money.
• I can ride it out.....
• and stop spending.
• The money never went into the family budget....
• just my mad money  :)
• Oh....I love mad money.
• I have a lot of cool toys because of mad money  :)
• I have always been very financially independent.
• Probably because I waited so long before I ever got married and had a family.
• We still have separate bank accounts.
• We tried to join them.....
• I am a check writer and don't count on what the bank account says today
• He is not...instant gratification for him.
• DROVE ME CRAZY!
• So, separate is better for my sanity.
• We have each others names on each others accounts, except my business account...
• I touch mine...he touches his......
• Unless I need money....then I touch his  :)  
• But, he NEVER, EVER touches my accounts.
• So, maybe I am really facing loss of Independence????
• That's Hubby's guess.
• I think he is right.
• Damn that man sometimes  LOL
• But, I have not worked in a real job since Sophie was born.
• Most don't know.....
• I used to be a real person...
• I have done amazing jobs in the past....there is NOTHING I CAN'T DO
• I used to be an addictions therapist....we had our own practice.
• And I was the Program Manager for CASA...Court Appointed Special Advocates

• 
• I was all that...and a bag of chips  :)
• then I became a Mom
• I was an artist for a long time....selling my wares.  Things I have built, painted or made.
• I owned a soap and bath products business.
• I made soap the old fashioned way...with lye.
• all of my bath products were my own creation.
• the was the original mad money
• as you know.....I was mad  LOL
• and I needed money to raise Sophie and keep my hands busy  :)
• So, I am going to look at working for someone else.....
• or not.
• I am going to clip coupons...and see how that extreme couponing thing works.
• So far....it really is fascinating stuff!
• I am going to push my business and really focus as best as I can.
• I am going to school too...to get all I need to be a certified Wedding Planner.
• I love this!
• I am an entrepreneur at heart!
• I like my own rules and schedule.
• So, if you have an idea...let me know.
• If you know someone that could benefit from all of my skills.....let me know that too!
• If you want to go to coffee???  Let me know that too!
• so, things are up in the air...
• I do hate change  :)

Survival of summer with the obsessed kids :)

I am linking up with Mama's Losin' It for this weeks Writer's Workshop.

I had a hard time with all of the FABULOUS TIMES I am having with my kids this week to come up with just one....so, it's a combination of 2 of them.

Well...kind a

3.) Do you love it or hate it? An open letter to your child’s latest obsession.
 

5.) It’s hot, the kids are home and crazy, our pets are panting, the days are long…share your number one Summer Survival Tip.

Or

Survival of summer with the obsessed kids  :)

I have 2 kids at home.  

A 13 year old daughter named Sophie.  She just graduated from 8th grade and is heading to high school.  I am scared!  And a 5 year old boy named Nash.  He will be taking on his second year of kindergarten because he is a September baby....and MY baby.

I only planned on having 1 child.  A girl child.  Then dead 1st son...dead 1st hubby...and a baby girl.  I later remarried and low and behold...had another child.

Don't ever have children spaced 8 years a part!

Each child is really an only child in a house with another child.

They have absolutely nothing in common with each other except that they want their Mommy!

So, we were on vacation a couple of weeks ago...did you read about that?????  Kids and long vacation trips in car  If you read that...you will know...either I am crazy or on the verge of it  :)

Anyway....Sophie has been busy with friends and Nash has not.  He does not have friends yet.  We don't live in the school district and honestly.......the friends he made at school he didn't have much in common.  Except the girls...he loves girls.  I wonder why???  LOL

So....the first obsessions.....

This is Big Time Rush

My daughter is planning on marrying James Maslow.  He is cute.  

We have gone thru many loves in her time.

Aaron Carter when she loved him at (her age) 5

And now he looks like this.

Nick is the middle one...and he is older now too  :)

Anyway...we have been thru her boys of love....thank goodness all of the loves of her life have been stars.  Real boys she won't have anything to do with  :)

We have been to concerts of the Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato and this Fall we will go to see Taylor Swift. 

Because I am a cool Mom.....I am going to take her to see Big Time Rush in 14 days....at the local fair.  And....it's a free concert.  Kill me NOW!

Yes folks...I am that crazy!  I will stand in line...while Sophie and her friend have fun at the fair...so that we can get good seat.  Because she will be holding a sign...saying...oh, it changes every day.  But anyway...this sign will cause him to look at her and know...that she IS THE ONE.  He will drop to one knee and propose marriage.  And of course....I will approve.

The other obsessions have to do with the boy, Nash.

I know...you are thinking he is 5.  What the heck can he be obsessed with!

By 7am every morning, he is moving garbage cans up and down my driveway.  On Tuesday...garbage day...he is out the door at 6am to get the garbage cans lined up in anticipation.

We own a million balls!  I am not kidding!  THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!

He can watch a show over and over again.  I swear...we have seen the 1st part of the final episode of America's Funniest Home Videos so many times on DVR that I can recite it backwards and forwards.  I know you know the one.  It was between Cookie Face Race, Pardoning the Poodles and Snowed in Camera (ok...I can't EVEN remember that name of the last one)!  But, the last one won a trip on a cruise ship, a vacation in Hawaii and a ton of other things for that family of 6.  But, my son talks constantly about....the Water Coaster ride on the Disney Ship, Disney Dream.

Swimming.  We have an above ground pool.  He would live in it if he could.

And...folks here is the latest.  Crotch grabbing.  Not intentional I don't think.  And not his.  Mine & Sophie's.  The more I think about it...the more I think about it, he is really trying to tickle us...but with our height and his lack......it's a crotch grab.

And now...it makes Sophie scream with disgust...which makes it that much more fun for Nash.  Heck...sometimes I do things to make Sophie scream.  It is fun!

So, between all of the obsessions this Summer.....I am about to raise my White Flag.  By the time Hubby got home tonight.....I had taken 3 ibuprofen and 1 anxiety med to cope with the raging headache after I made Nash stay in bed for the rest of the day and Sophie feel guilty for her part with the screaming.

They look pretty innocent.  DON'T LET THEM FOOL YOU!

Motherhood should have an instruction book....and respite care.

Thanks for stopping by.  Tammy