believe my Sophie...believe

I believe in Santa Claus.....I do!

And even tho Christmas is a hard day for me....Christmas is my favorite day of the year!  Anyone that knows me knows that my first son/child Nicholas James Eula was born and died on December 25, 1995.  It was the worst day of my life up to that point....yes, it got worse but this one.  But, you never forget a dead baby on Christmas day...never!

So, as you now....my daughter Sophie is a big, BIG girl now....she is starting high school in 2 days.  2 years ago she came to me and stated I know you are Santa.  Why have you lied to me my entire life?  She was crushed, crying...devastated!

Now, up to that point she would ask me about Santa because kids in school would tell her that Santa didn't exist...she got teased a lot because she believed.  And I would tell her...if you ever stop believing...Santa will never visit you again.  She took teasing.....terribly teasing from her best friends....and still believed.

Until.....one day she was looking thru my jewelry box for something.  And found the box of baby teeth.  She put 2 and 2 together and figured it all out.

I tried to be strong about her knowing.....but, I was crushed as well.  This means...she is growing up.  I still cry about this.

Now, at Christmas and Easter....she looks at me and says thank you.  The magic is gone.  It breaks my heart.

oh the year of High School Musical and Zach Efron

posing for the annual Christmas card

So, someone posted this letter on Facebook.  I read it and cried.  It really explains the magic, the love.....that we all need every day!  So, I took license to the letter and reworded it for my Sophie girl.

Dear Sophie…..
I found this letter online and wanted you to read it because I don’t think you truly understand who Santa is and why it’s important to believe in him, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and all of the other magical things in our lives.  I hate to think that you will always think I fooled you to make you look bad or feel bad.  I didn’t.  I believe in Santa….in the magic and mystery of Santa.  The joy and love that he and all of his magical friends bring when they visit to bring joy and love into our house.

So, am I Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny?

The answer is no. I am not Santa. There is no one Santa.

I am the person who fills your stockings with presents, though. I also choose and wrap the presents under the tree, the same way my mom did for me, and the same way her mom did for her.
I imagine you will someday do this for your children, and I know you will love seeing them run down the stairs on Christmas morning. You will love seeing them sit under the tree, their small faces lit with Christmas lights.

This won’t make you Santa, though.

yes, she actually got Starbuck's caramel

Santa is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. What he does is simple, but it is powerful. He teaches children how to have belief in something they can’t see or touch.

It’s a big job, and it’s an important one. Throughout your life, you will need this capacity to believe: in yourself, in your friends, in your talents and in your family. You’ll also need to believe in things you can’t measure or even hold in your hand. Here, I am talking about love, that great power that will light your life from the inside out, even during its darkest, coldest moments.

Santa is a teacher, and I have been his student, and now you know the secret of how he gets down all those chimneys on Christmas Eve: he has help from all the people whose hearts he’s filled with joy.
With full hearts, people like me take our turns helping Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible.

getting tickets to see Taylor Swift in concert

So, no. I am not Santa. Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness. I’m on his team, and now you are, too.

I hope you will still carry Santa in your heart and pass him on to my grandchildren.

I love you.....Mom

This was inspired by and kind of reworded by 
Martha Brockenbrough is a writer, teacher and a mom who lives in Seattle. Her recent writing projects include Things That Make Us [SIC] and It Could Happen To You: Diary Of A Pregnancy and Beyond. She is the founder of SPOGG, the Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar, and can be found at marthabee.com.