The six best things about being an adult

Today, I am joining up with Mama Kat's Writing Prompts.  I love this one today!




1.  You can eat ice cream for dinner and it's nobody's damn business.
When Hubby #1 & son #1 died...I lived on ice cream for months.  It's the only thing that would stay down...and when my doctor found out...he said at least add fruit and nuts.  Wow, I got prescribed a sundae!  Woot!  And I eat ice cream every night now.  And if I happen to buy a flavor that sounded good but is NOT good....well, I can throw it away....or, make the Hubby eat it.  He has become an ice cream martyr.


2.  You can buy what you want, when you want....
As long as you can carefully suggest to your husband that you DO need it and and you can figure out how to write it off on your taxes....Starbuck's is really only for adults most of the time!

3. You can wash one pair pants and not get in trouble
I used to get in such trouble when I would wash my favorite pants...just to wear them again...all alone in the washer and dryer.  Ha.....adulthood!  I can always wear my good butt pants!
 
4.  You tell your kids that no matter what even as an adult you have a boss
Yeah....me!  I don't have to clean my plate to get dessert, I can pretend to be sick and stay in bed all day and make them bring me everything I need.  I can pretend to be working on the computer on a deadline...when really...I am playing Bejeweled!

5.  You can stay up late or sleep in late
This does take finesse but as long as the other parent takes over or....you have a teenager that owes you money  :)  You can lay in bed as long as you want!

6.  You never have to be a teenager again!
Sure with age, you get pimples again but now you know how to wash your face and can afford to buy expensive anti-pimple cream.  Yes, there is hormone drama....but, one statement of....Hot Flash or  Menopause and they run!


Yep....being an adult is good!

Summer "NOT" lazy days

I think this is been the craziest, most chaotic summer I've had.

See how it used to be consistent?  Then chaos showed up!

 
 We started this summer with immediately going to recreation camp for Nash.  And trying to find something for Sophie to do...like babysitting, learning to be a lifeguard. 

Normally my summer is spent getting our parents organization reorganized for the next year, so that we can hit the ground running with our fundraising.  But this summer it seems like everybody is having a summer like me. We've tried twice to organize a meeting we call "Pass the Baton" meeting (a meeting where the old board and the new board meet to pass along info and stuff) twice nobody has been able to attend.

Then I got myself elected as president of professional women's network and have been really thinking about that group and how to take it to the next level!

And I was fortunate to be able to secure a position with the Humane Society of Tuolumne County as their Event Planner, so that is been a very big undertaking.  One, they are not sure how to utilize me since they have always used volunteers.  And two, dealing with any Non-Profit organization is delicate because you are there to help them make money...not make yourself money.

And of course for trying to get our vacation settled.  We had arranged to go to Disneyland but my husband works for the state so that got canceled because of how they are handling the layoffs and cuts to their budget.  So, we've decided to do a little vacation up to Reno and now it's looking like that's getting canceled as well....for the same reasons.

So it seems like the summer is a bunch of plans that are constantly changing and vacations are changing.  Our children are either loving life or not...depending on the moment and who is the one talking at the time.

Sadly...I have lived in chaos and really prefer constant balance.

In my mind...this is what I hoped for...peace!

Honestly after experiencing just a few weeks of summer I'm ready for school to start because then I have a consistent schedule.

Hope your Summer so far is better!

marriage, love & anniversaries

Today is my anniversary. 

I married the love of my life 4 years ago.  Granted, yes we have an almost 7 year old together but, I could not marry him when I got pregnant.  I had issues.  When I married him...I wanted to be able to say....I will love you to the end.  I will love you enough to risk being a widow again.

I know that sounds awful but that was my truth.  I had been widowed once and I never, ever want to go thru that again.  Actually the day I married my Hubby I made him promise that if he ever, EVER thinks he is going to die....he must come and blow my brains out...so that he dies first.

He agreed to that the day we married.

We did not have a wedding.  We went to the courthouse and got married.

We were having lunch at our favorite restaurant and talking about taxes, finances and the like.  He had just accepted a new position and was commuting back & forth weekly.  It was more money but, it was crazy making for me.  Because of the pay increase...he needed more deductions and because of him being gone so much and my stress level...it was time for me to get insurance.  The solution...marriage.

I had already let him have Nash as a deduction and child care.  I was making him pay me child support even tho we were living together.  And we were committed to each other.  But, marriage was the next logical step and I was ready.

So, thank God I married him. 

Soon there after both my Mom and brother were diagnosed with cancer.  Mom stage 2 breast cancer and brother stage 4 kidney cancer.  Mom survived but mentally stripped me and my family of just about everything.  My brother died June 12, 2009.  I took my Mom up to my brother at the end, helped his wife make decisions and helped make it easy for him to go.  His death was proof that if I didn't stand up for myself...I would be nothing but her's for the rest of my life. 

A couple of months later, in August, 2009, at a family party the same bullshit played out that has played for years...and I was done.  Because now....it was effecting not just me but my kids.  I never stood up for me but I would never NOT stand up for my kids!

This opened a world of doors to the past and how it effected today.

I said no more!  It was like I finally stopped looking at her version of the truth and saw....THE TRUTH.

I lost my entire family over this...I miss them terribly.  But, I will never go back...I will never be a part of their truth again.  I deserve better.  My kids deserve better.  And life has been so amazing since I let them go.

My hubby is my family now.  MY children, his children, our grandchildren, his extended family accept me for me. 

I am lucky.

I love my husband!

teenagers and concerts....when to let go?

I have a 14 year old daughter...barely 14 1/2.

She just asked to go to a concert...in a big city.....with a friend....and I am not chaperoning. 

When did this happen?

Can this happen??

Am I ready for this to happen???

Oh man!  I have been cussing out the dead guy since she asked.  How could he die (yes, he has been gone 14 years but...still...I get all of the hard decisions!) and not be here to make this decision!

It's not that I don't trust her.  Because I do.  It's the world I do NOT trust!

But...this is HUGE! 

Can I implant a tracking device without her knowing?

Can I hire a professional stalker to be there the whole time and keep an eye out on her?

OK...where is the owner & developer of the mini electronic mosquito/spy drone?  Can I borrow it?

When is the time to let this happen?

I want the glass box.  I really want that glass box my sister-in-law talked about many, many moon ago.

To protect her...keep anything from happening to her.  Safe and sound.

my world will never, ever be the same!

I got an iPhone...with Siri.

It's not even been 36 hours.....and I am addicted!

No, I don't know how to use it...but I am addicted none the less!

I feel like I am cheating on my computer.

The possibilities...are....amazing!

I already have 3 pages of apps....and really don't know how to use but 1%.

What a great day!  The day my old phone started to mess up!  The week after I went to a social media conference and was the only one in the entire room without a smartphone.

How did I survive before???

It's like I am looking at the world thru new eyes!

Do you....have a smartphone????

tonight...at the dinner table...SEX!

Hubby and I believe that dinner is a BIG deal and should always be together at the kitchen table.  Even if it's pizza or McDonald's or a really BIG family dinner when the older kids are here with the grandkids.

So, tonight...somehow the conversation got to being a woman now compared to when I was Sophie's age...only a million years ago!  We talked about the following topics -

• birth control and its relative newness and the power to be able to control the number of children a woman has
• how long woman have had the vote
• only 100 years ago...my great grandmother was considered an old maid at 15 and it was arranged for her kidnapping by a man to ruin her reputation so that she would HAVE to get married to a man she did not love...or even like!
• when I was in 7th grade I never had a choice as to what elective I would take...girls took cooking and sewing...that was it...nothing else.
• it was common for my mothers senior year in high school (1962) for most girls to become pregnant and have to get married, they were not given the opportunity to graduate from high school.
• abortions were illegal
• women were clearly second class people
• there were no sports teams for girls
• that in China, they are required to only have 1 child and they prefer male children because it carries on the name

We were met with very educated comments like....that's stupid! Why would some girl do that and get pregnant.  Were they too stupid to use condoms (which brought up many other topics like syphilis), and how there were girls for doing the nasty and girls that were for marrying and keeping pure.

We also talked about my Mother's cure for the problem.  She always told me that they should put something in the drinking water that would render everyone sterile.  And to have children you have to pass a million tests and really have to think about having children.  Mom should not have had children and wouldn't have had she had a choice in her day.  But, in her day...you fell in love, got pregnant, got married and that was it.

It was an interesting conversation with my 14 year old daughter.  And it's amazing how it was NOT that long ago!

Have you had these conversations with your children??

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