Tuesday, May 10, 2011

been a while....

I have had a lot to say....but didn't.

I have had a lot of emotions about all that has transpired....but, trying to not deal with it so that I can deal with others.

I have been busy.

Or kept myself that way.

I have been sick. 

Got the cooties.

Then it was Mother's Day.

It was a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seems like I am running down a hill to a finish line.

School is almost over.

Sophie will move on to high school...we all know how I feel about that!

Nash will stay in Kindergarten.  Yes, its for the best that he stays back. 

But..........it hurts....my ego.

I think if I DIDN'T have to do Kindergarten again...I would be fine.  I am ready for a longer day of him at school.  Yes....I said it.  I need a longer day of freedom.

The days are speeding past now.

Blurring into each other.

Time is going so fast.

I really want to get off this ride for a couple of days.

Make it stop.

Make Sophie stop growing up. 

Make Nash stop growing up.

Give me more time. 

More time!

I feel like I am running...so fast to keep up with them. 

But....

it's not fast enough.

I am getting left behind.

I think that's it.

I feel left....forgotten...........missed.

How can I love them so much and let them go?

I look at myself....no one cared that I grew up, moved on.................

no one even thought to think about missing me.

I miss my kids....and they are still here.

But, I miss them.

Can't it just stop for a while?

Slow down even........slow!

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