Thursday, April 28, 2011

the impending death of my mother-in-law, Part 1

I know I have a strange situation.

The mother-in-law I actually the mother-in-law from my first marriage. 

When I married Lance, his mother had already passed so I didn't get a mother-in-law from him.

When I first met my was a quick meet & greet of all of David's fellow co-workers.  At the time of meeting her...I really was no more than a friend.

But, our relationship grew and since David was an adult....he did not explain that to his Mom.  His Mom, Virginia Eula, was a widow and never quite got thru the loss of her beloved husband.  He had passed many years before I had met David and the house was still as it was when he died. 

Ginny, as she is usually referred to, is a DEVOTE CATHOLIC!  Weekly mass, all of the observances, pays money to have masses held in the memory of a loved one. is a big deal with her.

So, when she found out that her son and I were serious...was when he told her I was pregnant with her 1st grandchild. do you think she took it???


There were names called...we won't go into them  LOL  Allegations made of my trapping of her son....I was at the time 32 years old and he was 35.  Anyway...she was NOT pleased with the way things came about.  But, we worked together to form a bond since...well....I was here to stay.

She got to where she really did like me!  And why not!  I ROCK!

So, the day David called her to tell her that I was very sick with the pregnancy and we were going to the hospital.  She was very worried.  And when David called her to tell her that we were being transferred to a larger hospital to handle this huge problem.  She was right there!

She was devastated when we lost our son, Nicholas James.  Especially since it was Christmas and he was the namesake for her husband.....and this was her first grandchild.

She had lost a child too so was very compassionate and talked to me a lot about the loss.  We would pray, talk and not talk. 

She was very supportive of me and her son and very much wanted us to try again.

So, since we were NOT married when we lost our son.  We thought we should get that done.  We had planned on a big wedding after Nicholas was born but now I just wanted to get married.  David and I went to the courthouse and got married without the fanfare or hullabaloo. 

We got married on Nicholas James' due date...February 29, 1996.  He died on Christmas  Day, 1995.

She was thrilled that I was now her daughter-in-law officially!  She threw us a party.

We spent a lot of time with Ginny.  Had lunch with her weekly...I really enjoyed her.

She was a funny person tho.  She had things...that well...made her............her.  She was from New Jersey, had a fabulous accent....and David could say things just like she did!  OMG!  Still funny to this day!

Anyway...after much trying we had Sophie.  I had a special neonatologist that I saw weekly, had weekly sonograms and tests....she loved those!  She loved being able to bond with Sophie before she was born.  We named Sophie after the love of his father's life....Sophia Loren! 

Sophia Marie Eula was born on November 1, 1997 @ 9:16pm

This is Ginny meeting her granddaughter, Sophie....she was in HEAVEN!

Here we are about 1 week after Sophie was born with Ginny, my sister-in-law at the time Janet & her daughter Muireann.  Yep, Sophie was a big deal to the family!

But, on April 29, 1998......our world changed.  David died.

I won't even go into the horror of losing David but, it did give Ginny and I a bond that could never be broken....ever!

I was the holder of the ties Ginny had to her son.  I had everything...she had memories.  I got to see David daily in Sophie...she got to see David when we went to see her.

more to come

No comments: