Friday, March 4, 2011

thoughts...how I got here today

OK....if you read my blog you know I am in a period of change.

When I started my business Errand Girl....my plan was to make a recognizable name for myself & business, hardly ever advertise with the exception of my van and enjoy what I was doing.  I also said that I didn't want to business to be too much until Nash started kindergarten....yeah, I think I said that before.

So, here i am.

Spreading out...and up.

I think I really have figured all of this out.  And am loving what I am finding out about the new avenues I am taking...and how it is making me.

This is change.  I have NEVER been a fan of change.

I was raised in chaos, when things could change at a moments notice.  You could wake up one morning, be told you were moving today and by that night...it was a whole new world.  I hated it.  Or being woken up at 1am to watch "Whatever happened to Baby Jane" with Betty Davis & Joan Crawford because my Mom wanted company and was lonely.

Or being hired at the age of 16 to do the books for a cigarette distributor because he was sloshed and Mom needed him to go out with her.....at 11pm at night.  I made good money for it tho.  Oh, Scott Helms....I would wait up with Mom until 11pm or later for you to arrive.  Mom and I would watch MASH while waiting for you.  Then I would get your books done.....get paid...and go to my room and pretend I was deaf. 

Then on Sunday mornings....I would find you and Mom on the hide-a-bed...you would give me money to go to 7 Eleven
to buy you a chocolate milk, Hostess Cherry Pie and a Sunday edition of the Review Journal.  I always kept the change.

The house always smelled of booze, stale cigarettes & sex.

Oh...he wasn't the only man...there were many.  Too many for children to witness...and to me...16 is still a child.

Or always making deals with people that should not be making deals with kids....for safety, peace....life of those you love but really don't love you back in the same way....or the way you need to be loved.

I find my life amazing.

I am a pretty level headed person.  I know right from wrong, good from bad....and rotten parenting.

No wonder I know I can do anything....I have always been able to do to anything  :)  And well too!

Ok...so, my subject got a little twisted but I actually started out with no idea of where I was going  LOL

Who else could have paired up 7 Eleven, Virgina Slims, & Betty Davis with chocolate milk and a cherry pie.

And I am still here  :)  And happy.

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